AldrS

Hate breads hate! We all love to think ourselves compassionate. Yet, when we are treated with hate, our kindness quickly fades. Hate is what we feel in response, we can't help it. Followed by anger, regret and sadness. Where it all started is forgotten. The reasons (was it out of fear, ignorance or habit?) are forgotten. What is left are some grotesque creatures. Contradiction incarnate. Boiling rage on the surface filled with melancholy and the want, the need to be kinder, wishing for a better world while acting to create the opposite.

All that is left is the distant memory of the twisting, dancing shadow of my cigarette's smoke on the wall. I stared at it for a while. It was a long time ago, and right now I could really use a smoke. But I ran out of my favorite cigarettes. It's ok, she was bad for me anyway...

Sometime in the future, when it will already be too late, I will become exactly like I would have wanted to be when I wasn't a good enough man for you.

I am only a reflection of what I think she feels for me...

It seems it's not too late to smile at the sun I used to tell myself I had to hate It seems it's not to late to fix some of dreams I used to tell myself I had to break It seems I might still be able to remember who it was that I forgot when I forgot I was a man It seems I might still be able to remember how to feel the things I thought I could never feel again Seems I can still remember how to be the man that used to smile at how his dreams could make him feel Seems I can still remember how to be the man that used hurry to arrive just to leave for there was still more to see

I honestly don't know how I got here I'm staring at the train getting bigger With the cold steel tracks under my feet I close my eyes hoping not to get hit No need to move out of the way "There is time to kill today" Don't worry it will probably miss Yes, ignorance is truely bliss...

You could see it in his eyes He saw rainbows black and white Through the bars he had made Such a rare truely lonely gaze He ignores the songs of heavenly choirs Not even those draw close to his desires Must be the sadest thing you have ever seen Locks himself away and dreams to be free "There is no need to rush my friend This song will not soon end Leave me to myself and I will find the right time to fly" The song will not slow down The verses are running out It seams long but it won't last It too will shortly become the past With wings strong ready he stands there Wanting to fly but not knowing where So still he waits for h

an endless entanglement of uninteliganle sribbled lines staring back at me from the page shapeless, meaningless, dull strokes of a pen just empty words that fail to paint the picture this is not what it was meant to be this is not what I wanted this is not what is in there traped, trying to get out scrathcing, clawing at the walls all the while screeming at me deafened by my thoughts abused by myself I'm tired

"I fucking hate you!" I was on my knees pointing at the sky, screaming at the top of my lungs at a God I tell myself I don't believe in. "I didn't do anything wrong!" This sentence kept repeating in my head, because well I didn't or at least I didn't think I did but that is relative. In any case I was the one suffering through no fault of my own. A single tear rolled down my cheek and I felt my sanity slipping away from me. There and then something snapped inside me and her leaving instantly didn't hurt anymore. I remember where I was, what the clouds that I was screaming at looked like, I even remember the smell of the place and most

A conversation I had with my friend a few times: - What did you learn today? - What do you mean? - I mean about anything, about yourself. Did you have any good ideas? Anything worth mentioning? And so I closed my eyes and there I was, standing there, floating rather. I felt lost. There was an ocean of thoughts rumbling beneath my feet somewhere. I wasn't sure of anything all, I knew was I couldn't see an end to it, in any direction. There was no sun but it wasn't dark. I looked down. I don't really know how but I went closer. "Closer", well that is just a word, it was rather just a feeling, I just knew it, but really it makes no sense to